some tears are good tears

i just checked the mail and the letters that adam wrote me came today. i… i am completely in shock…crying…shaking… unbelievably floored at everything he wrote. there is NO doubt in my mind right now about anything between he and i, no doubt whatsoever about our relationship, no doubt that he will make it home to me when the time comes, and no doubt at all that this is the guy that i’d be happy with for millions and billions of years. i ripped the letters out of the envelopes and sat down in the dirt and read them and probably looked like such a dork with the hugest smile on my face. he wrote me like 5 pages worth and he’s not normally one to talk about emotions and i know that. i’ve come to terms with it and don’t try to prod it out of him and i know that when we do spend time together, the affection he shows speaks for itself. but this… this was more than i could ever ask for. i think i’m the luckiest girl in the entire freaking world because i feel like a million bucks right now and after the mood i’ve been in this entire week, that says a hell of a lot. adam… you amaze me.

deployments suck, but days like this make it well worth the wait and like he said in his letter, the sweet ain’t so sweet without the bitter. and i absolutely, completely agree with that statement.

god i love you.