friday night thoughts 🤍🙏

you are enough
let go and love

i sat down to meditate tonight. it's been 2-3 days because 1) i ran out of rapeh, and 2) i've been filling my days and not setting aside time to just sit, regardless, between work and life. and i should have.

i could feel an unrest, a frustration, when i sat down, and couldn't really figure out why. but a couple minutes in, and i knew exactly why.

not only because it had been a few days, but also because i was feeling guilt about the girls tonight. they were mostly great all afternoon/evening, but we had a couple meltdowns tonight, and i had to get onto them.

the details don't matter, but when i don't show the patience i've so desperately been working towards (and doing a lot better at, even), i find myself back in that headspace, "you could've done better".

i have fun things planned for this weekend with them. some people tell me i'm nuts for doing so many things with them, and i get a lot of "that must be a handful". but i do this for 2 reasons.. 1) i want them to experience life and new things and have all the fun, and 2) it's more opportunities for learning the patience and grace i know they and i deserve.

so, today was progress. i snuggled them all tonight, and made donuts with caylin.

tomorrow is a new day. and i will continue to work on it.