brett seems to think i’ve always had it. i am not a doctor or a therapist or in any way at all capable of diagnosing myself with such a disorder. however, my behavior seems to be leaning in that direction.
lately, i’ve actually had to fight myself from leaving the apartment and driving around trying to find something to get into, or something to spend money on. like materials to build a cat-tree. in order to combat my need to do things with my hands (seriously, do NOT try to make that dirty, i don’t know another way to word it), i started taking welding classes. case closed, right?
NO.
it’s not enough. so lately i’ve been baking. i figured… a few recipes would calm me down for a bit. if anything, cooking dinner every single night would surely do the trick.
NO.
we have so many damned desserts in our apartment that it is INSANE. 2 people simply cannot consume this much sugar. if anything, this should serve as proof that i will be a freaking spectacular mom when the time comes. minus the setting things on fire.
anyway, so i started bringing cupcakes to work. but then we’d still have like 12 leftover cupcakes in the apartment (i need bigger pans to bring to work). i didn’t think it was possible, but I AM SICK OF CUPCAKES. but they do look pretty.
so i switched to brownies. we have a whole plate of brownies. i ate 1 of them. brett ate none, because he’s not even really a chocolate fan in the first place. he can only eat it in moderation, something i know not of.
then i switched to funnel cakes. which turned out awesome, but i should have halved no, SIXTH-ED the recipe, because i ate like 2 whole funnel cakes and nearly died of smoke inhalation in the process. funnel cakes are… messy. and oil BURNS. and our stove just plain sucks. but our smoke alarm works GREAT!
i thought maybe decorating the apartment for halloween would be fun. and it was. but it took like 5 minutes. it’s a small apartment.
so i started making halloween candy. you know, the chocolate kits at wal-mart where you melt the chocolate and stick it in molds and make pops out of it? well, i got sick of the chocolate while i was making it because i kept eating all my ingredients. so now i have a buttload of chocolate candy, and uh, neither of us will eat it. but it DOES look pretty all wrapped up in halloween colors. so it serves a minor purpose.
lately, i’ve had a lot of websites to work on, and that does help out a lot. i have to constantly be thinking because otherwise i truly can NOT sit still. i can’t even sit through a whole football game on TV without playing scrabble on my droid, or getting up every 10 seconds to do… something. walk around. clean. anything.
on saturday, i was actually pacing our apartment because i was so stir-crazy. there were good football games on TV and brett didn’t want to leave, which is fine. i was still feeling sickly (insane sinus infection of 2010 has fought a hell of a battle, and is finally almost over, i think), so i couldn’t really do much anyway. i didn’t get to go to welding which i think was part of the problem.
i told brett that i wanted to play outside SO BADLY. this is one reason i miss boone (one of like, nine thousand reasons). you can go outside and do ANYTHING. ANYWHERE. hiking trails, rock climbing, the blue ridge parkway, mountains everywhere to go explore, waterfalls, fishing, even just walking around downtown, and for the love of god, you can find ANY patch of grass, pull out a blanket, and lay outside in the sunshine and no one will think anything of it.
charleston…? if i did this in charleston, say, in our apartment complex… whipped out a blanket and layed down in the grass? i’m certain one of our douche-of-a-neighbors would file a complaint about how the drunk girl from downstairs got loose and is making snow angels in the grass. I CAN’T WIN IN THIS TOWN.
so, you know what i did? i took a freaking shower, i was so bored. that’s what i did. i took a shower. i took a damned shower. i hate this place.