10 Weeks, I Need To Write More

i know that i’m going to really regret not blogging more about these early months with caylin. it’s just so hard to find time to sit and just write lately. and when i do have the time, i’d rather be spending it relaxing with brett or cleaning or working or doing something more fun than sitting in front of the computer. i’m still going strong with the pictures every day (go me!), so i haven’t failed there at least.

every day it seems like she’s learning a little bit more.

  • she is trying SUPER hard to hold her own bottle lately. it’s awesome. and kind of frustrating when her little hands are so grabby.
  • she still hates tummy time, so i’ve resorted to carrying her around while she holds her head up over my shoulder. she likes to look around :)
  • she tried out her bumbo seat for the first time a couple days ago. talk about adorable.
  • this week we started putting her in her play patch gym, and tonight she actually played with the fuzzy stuffed worm for about 15 minutes, smacking it around while it rattled. i couldn’t stop smiling.
  • she downs between 4 and 6 ounces almost every feeding lately, and weighs a little over 12 pounds now. growing like crazy.
  • she enjoys bath time until it’s time to come OUT of the bath. and then she screams bloody murder.
  • her bedtime has been consistent for a while. i put her in bed at 10, and she’s been waking up right around 7:30. every morning she wakes up full of smiles. it’s amazing.

never in my life did i imagine this would be so cool to watch. i mean, i never thought it would be boring. but the feeling i got tonight watching her lay on her mat and play with a little stuffed worm. holy crap. she had never interacted with anything that way before. to sit there and experience her actually learning right in front of me. figuring things out on her own. there’s nothing else like it in the world. loki and thor even came over and lay right down next to the mat and stared at her. when caylin reached over and smacked the worm, loki got excited and started to paw at the play mat and shook all the toys. caylin looked at loki and flashed her a huge gummy smile. i about died. and then i felt a huge lump form in my throat thinking about how loki won’t be there for her when she’s older.

brett and i watched moonrise kingdom tonight. if you like quirky movies, i recommend it. we also went and saw skyfall last night. we opted not to see it in imax since it would be crowded and a pain in the ass. also awesome. for half the movie i tried to figure out why “eve” looked familiar, and then it hit me. fantastic actress.

i probably mentioned this in an earlier post, but my mom watches caylin for us so we can have date nights on the weekends (THANK YOU, MOM). it’s weird to have actual “date nights” now since every night until we had caylin was more or less a date night. even if we didn’t go out to dinner, we’d still hang out alone together. cook dinner, watch movies and/or our series (dexter, homeland, SOA, boardwalk empire), have a few drinks, be happy bums together. it’s rare now, to be alone. not that i took it for granted before. it’s always the best part of any day, but i appreciate it a lot more now.

and more than that i miss cuddling. my god, how i miss it. since caylin sleeps with us, she pretty much owns me. i will be weaning her from that in a little while, hopefully. while i will absolutely miss snuggling her, i also miss snuggling my husband. bittersweet.

speaking of bittersweet, my mom drove up to north carolina today to finish moving the last of her things out of her house. my roots in winston-salem will finally be torn. thinking about that also puts a lump in my throat. my hometown no longer has my home. my dad and stepmom still live 15 minutes from there, so i can always go back. but it won’t be the same.

when she gets back tomorrow, we’re going to disney on ice. we’ve gone almost every year since i was little. we’re not taking caylin since she would just sleep through it, so brett will have some quality time with her tomorrow afternoon. i guarantee if jiminy cricket starts to sing (he always does, dammit), i will get all teary eyed. the last time i heard “when you wish upon a star”, i was on our honeymoon, laying on a beach in the dark with brett, watching the wishes fireworks show over the magic kingdom, 10 weeks pregnant.

and now caylin is 10 weeks old. life needs to slow down.