a year to remember... for sure. <3 i know i'm late again with the new year's post. i don't know how i wrote so much so often years ago, but i'm glad i did. and i need to do it more. it always ends up being a release, whether it's through…

i have been wanting to write this for weeks but never carved out the time, and it's been a draft for at least 2 now. if there's one thing i've learned in the last few years, forcing the time or the words to happen never works. i have to…

after almost 17 years and one hell of a life, thor passed away monday morning. i haven't cried this much since my loki died . loki basically raised thor from the day i got him . he was a 7 week old furball of skin and bones, and i saved…

never in my pre-kids life did i imagine i would have 3 kids, or any kids, let alone twins. i believe the universe has its way of helping you find your way back to yourself if you allow it, and these girls have been a massive part of this…

over the past couple years, i've made a very conscious shift. social notifications have remained off. i share less, and only share things that feel real or meaningful or valuable or fun, with love. no unnecessary dopamine bumps or anxiety…

first drink in 2 weeks is a (big) glass of wine to celebrate the end of an era 🥹🍷💙 it was me and Eric's last official day at Recon today, and next week we begin our new adventure with LimaCharlie. not goodbye for us and Recon, as we'll…

eric and i were running with dawn earlier today, talking about random events of the day, and work, etc. "i'm so hungry, where should we go for dinner?" and then i thought, "ugh, that means shower, and drying my hair, and makeup and all the…

it's hard to put into words how much running OpenSOC has meant over the years. but i'm gonna try. i'll spare the repetitiveness--a brief summary of what OpenSOC is, if you're unfamiliar, is above. but it has become so much more than that.…

i took the girls to gymnastics this morning, and on our way out, i overheard a guy talking to his daughter when she finished class. he pulled her aside while she was getting her shoes and jacket back on, and her mom was a couple chairs…

last night was the first time i'd ever legitimately needed to use the EC2 serial console in AWS. while i'm thrilled that it now exists (i wish it had been there 10 years ago), i don't want to run into this situation again. somehow, 3…

the fun of running a lab also comes with the fun of troubleshooting things you wouldn't otherwise have to troubleshoot in a properly managed/replicated/backed up environment. like figuring out how a database within vcenter that you didn't…

this was taken the morning of day 1 of quarantine, march 2020. it feels like i blinked. i remember those early pandemic days. 2-3 hour shifts of work/kids/chaos. i remember thinking how much harder everything was about to get. and ohhh, it…

i've touched on this a lot across several posts, but never addressed it directly. i've made a lot of changes over the last year, year and a half, regarding self care. i cut out red meat. i cut out alcohol almost entirely. i cut out my diet…

friday night thoughts 🤍🙏 ... you are enough let go and love ... i sat down to meditate tonight. it's been 2-3 days because 1) i ran out of rapeh, and 2) i've been filling my days and not setting aside time to just sit, regardless, between…

caylin turns 9 tomorrow. i still can't wrap my head around it. she was a baby a month ago. i am so unbelievably proud of this girl. she is such a bright light. such a sweet, kind soul, and an amazing big sister. we woke up around 6, or…

i sat down to meditate tonight, and i always get emotional around my girls' birthdays. tonight was no different. we're celebrating big sister's birthday tomorrow, and i've been prepping since thursday night. but when i sat down and…

i sat down to meditate tonight, and my head was inundated with thoughts. for whatever reason, i couldn't focus. i couldn't let go. i couldn't just SIT. i couldn't help but notice my mind creating a backlog of to-do's, even a few minutes…

as much as i love having my girls home with me, and as much as i miss the chaos and being surrounded by their little voices, i'm reminded this week how important time with myself is. i woke up at 6, got them ready, took them all to school,…

earlier today, i was sitting at the ATL airport, had chicken and celery for lunch, with a water. a year ago, i would've been 2 whiskeys deep with a burger and fries before my flight, dead tired, with a headache, and regretting it when i…

today was pretty rough. today was a stark reminder that i've been the single point of failure in too many places for too long. not just work, but in my own life. we've been taking steps to alleviate that at work, but today the internet…

the twins go back to daycare next week. big sister just started her first week of 4th grade. it won't be a full house every day after this week. and despite the chaos of trying to work and mom, i know i will miss it so so much. i was…

today was another day of chaos, and here i am at the end of the day, reflecting on what i could've or should've done differently. ... embrace the chaos keep showing up just show them love you are enough ... this has been repeating in my…

today wasn't perfect--there were a lot of timeouts, and there was a lot of frustration between the tantrums and work and the chaos. we meditated together this morning--for the first time, my girls joined me. there were tears of joy (mine),…

it's not often that i come to las vegas and meditate. i had never done it, in fact, until today. today is day 2, or 3 i guess technically, of DEF CON. day 2 of OpenSOC. eric and i sat outside this morning with Rapéh. we meant to yesterday…

we're driving from SC to TX this week. last night we stopped in mississippi at an adorable RV park. we're heading to dallas today to visit our friend matt, and then back to austin tomorrow. flying out to las vegas on thursday for DEF CON.…