cue night at the roxbury music
W: dude! i just looked at that truck and it said 53′ on the side of it, and THEN we passed mile marker 53! jesus is playing tricks on us!
B: yea… jesus already played a trick on you, babe.
why am i with him again?
drives by a prius
B: pfft… you think you’re special with your prius hybrid… oh look, i’m good for the environment… i’m special!
W: you drive a gas-guzzling ESCALADE!
B: LOOK… i’m amurican… and i drive like an amurican!
W: let me out. now.
B: not yet, ’cause you still got work to do.
W: excuse me?
B: you gotta bear me some chirrens [childrens], woman.
when the day comes and i bear him his chirrens, i hope to god they become figure skaters and despise football. just to spite him.
then he left me this in my bathroom. no, it’s not a turd.
B: you just got favre’d!
both laughing, me a little pissed, mostly because he’d been making fun of me ALL DAY
W: you know, this is going to all bottle up, and one day, i’m just going to explode. IN YOUR FACE.
tries his best to not laugh and then nearly dies, i start yelling at him
B: I’M SORRY! i’m sorry! but… EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE!
W: i hate you.
pathetic sympathy hug
B: and i’m sorry you fell down the front porch stairs.
then i slammed the door on him
i hope there are other couples who do this. and by “this” i mean “pick on your girlfriend constantly”.