I Got Stuck in My Bathroom

i wish i was kidding.

i also should preface this post with the fact that i had a couple glasses of wine last night (yes, just 2, but wine kicks my ass) before going to bed. brett had downloaded sunday’s episode of dexter, and this season is nearly impossible to watch without drinking at the same time. it’s just so STRESSFUL! if any of you keep up with dexter, you know what i’m talking about.

so brett and i went to bed. i woke up at like 2 AM because i had to pee. i walked into my bathroom and went to flip on the lights, and instead of hitting the light switch, i hit the switch for the fan.

i guess i was out of it, because when i hit the switch for the fan, i thought to myself, “oh, the lights must be broken” (uh, yeah, all 6 of them). i don’t know. i was in a 2 AM wine-induced haze, i guess.

i would have to pee in the dark. pitch black dark.

i didn’t have a problem finding the toilet. my problem was finding my way OUT of the bathroom. first of all, i stood up and walked straight into the sink (ouch). the sink is directly in front of the toilet, so i don’t have an excuse for that one.

however, my bathroom could be confusing, i guess, in the dark, seeing as how there are 3 damn doors in it. to the left of the sink, there is a closet door, the door to the water heater (i’m guessing that’s what it is, i’ve never actually looked at it now that i think about it, it’s just in there and is noisy), and the door to the bedroom.

after walking into the sink, i mumbled something, and went for door #1–the water heater. i opened the freaking door, and walked right into it, cobwebs and all. then i grabbed some metal thing. it freaked me the hell out, and i stumbled around for a second wondering what was going on. then i shut the door and went for door #2.

door #2, being my closet. i walked head first into one of the shelves (ouch), and then felt my laundry basket. definitely doing something wrong. shut that door, and moved on to door #3. i finally made it out of the bathroom, with minor injuries. YES!

to top off this moment of fail, i sat down in bed, removed my bottoms (like, all of them, and i can’t even remember the last time i slept naked), curled up, and went to sleep. i woke up this morning completely confused, and lucky for me, brett slept through all of it.

i don’t think i’ll be drinking any wine tonight, and in the event that i do, i’m going to drink a third glass in the hopes that i will at least not remember the ridiculously stupid things that i did at 2 AM.