Good Times & A Gutpunch

i feel like i’m back on the rollercoaster again. same one i was on a couple weeks ago.

it must be this lethal combination of nostalgia, seeing friends, leaving friends, leaving caylin, hormones out of wack–the perfect storm. not to mention the part where i gained 3 pounds over the weekend. awesome wedding food and whiskey sours. nothing like weighing yourself on a sunday afternoon to snap you back into reality.

this weekend, 2 of my favorite people on the planet tied the knot. the groom, who i’ve known for many many years now, was one of my absolute best buddies in college. between LAN parties, game nights, random drunken last-minute parties at my apartment, camping, hiking, road trips, [insert other awesome college activity here], the times i spent with this guy are unforgettable. not only does he have a heart of gold, but he’s one of the most fun people i’ve ever met.






i was more than honored to be one of his groomswomen this weekend. unfortunately, i don’t have any photos of us at the wedding, but i have one of me and his lovely new wife. i can say as many nice things about this lovely lady as i can say about her new husband. they are the perfect couple, and i could not be happier for them.



it was so awesome being able to see my buddies again. i haven’t seen these guys in far too long, and i hate that. we are all so far apart now, but that seems to be the case with almost all of my friends these days. every time i see them, i’m the happiest i’ve ever been. and then depressed when it’s all over.

and on the flip side, i’m always so sad on the way out of town after saying goodbye to caylin. my eyes well up every time. and then when i get home, i’m all smiles to see that cute little face.

i got to come home a little earlier than usual this afternoon. made dinner and hung out with caylin for a little bit before going outside to play in the yard. she wants to do nothing but run around now since she’s getting the hang of walking, so we let her wear herself out every afternoon/evening outside.

she was leaning over to touch this blue plastic pipe that sticks out of the front yard. she has to touch everything. well, she leaned over and lost her balance–her chin/mouth smashed RIGHT into the edge of it. instant tears. instant screams. instant gash on her chin.

oh… my god. she’s bonked her head god knows how many times since she’s been mobile. but she hasn’t bled yet ever. i… i wanted to die. i couldn’t hug her enough. i could almost puke just thinking about it.

i know this is the first of many. i know that. and this wasn’t even that bad. but it hit me like a rock. i started crying. she was fine within like 5 minutes, but couldn’t help it knowing this happened when i was supposed to be there to catch her. and it made me feel horrible.

today was not a great day for a handful of reasons, but that put it over the top.

and then when it was getting closer to bedtime, i took her upstairs in the playroom to watch her baby einstein and give her her nighttime bottle. she was all cozied up in her pajamas, and i put her in my lap with the bottle. she let me keep my arms around her, and leaned back into my arms. she cuddled on me the whole time she drank her bottle. like 10 minutes. the longest she’s let me do that in i don’t know how long.

and in a second, nothing else in the world mattered. there are no other words to describe that feeling.