since living on my own, weird things keep happening. maybe weird isn’t the correct word. scary and/or life-threatening and/or WTF-worthy would be more like it. here is a short re-cap of the past month’s accidents.
- found and killed poisonous snake outside my front door (i mentioned that earlier)
- accidentally ingested adhesive that made me feel drunk (consequently numbed half my face/entire tongue and called poison control)
- burnt my inner thigh on/in my own oven (it left a big, red rectangle… that was awkward o_0 )
- almost died by microwave explosion to the face (it happened like 10 minutes ago and i’m already posting this but it was like 10″ from my face when flames filled the entire microwave with ferocious, lightsaber-like zapping noises)
before anyone makes fun of my microwave incident, i am stating my disclaimer: there was NO metal in the microwave! all i put in there was a stupid cookie for 10 stupid seconds! pillsbury, you owe me a microwave.