do not underestimate it.
man, this is gonna sound weird.
so, brett and i were rough-housing in bed last night, and before that gets taken out of context, i would like to state that this story is 100% unrelated to sex, so you can just throw that out the window right now.
we play fight a lot, and usually it gets out of hand, and by out of hand i mean it gets to the point where someone gets hurt (usually me) or i have an asthma attack. or both. this was one of those cases. we’re pretty much used to it now.
but brett kept trying to steal the covers, and then he’d grab my ass, so then i sort of went ape shit and jumped on top of him and started biting his shoulder, pulling his arm hair out, and poking him in the ribs. i fight dirty, but i feel like it’s fair that way since he’s, you know, twice my size. literally. he might disagree with me on that one, but that’s what relationships are about, right? finding even ground. yes.
somewhere between jumping on top of him and his knee-jerk reaction to flail about, i went airborne off of the bed and into the bedside table. the stupid bedside table that we got at target for $10 because it’s made out of cardboard but resembles wood. i had no idea the likeness would be so realistic. evidently, cardboard can withstand a 120 pound human being flung at it like a wild animal, and the damned thing kicked my ass.
brett immediately knew i was hurt but i was like OH NO i’m fine, i’m fine. i got back on the bed and commenced the biting when i slowly started realizing the burning sensation on my back, followed by the all-too familiar feeling of a bleeding cut. walked into the bathroom, and i have a nice 3-inch gash down my back.
i kept trying to reassure brett that it’s actually kind of exciting because now i’ll have a really cool scar, and that i like scars because they usually have really cool stories. and he responded with, “okay, baby”. which i know REALLY means, “you’re out of your damned mind, but i still love you, and i’ll pretend like you’re not completely ridiculous”.