Achievement Unlocked!


this might sound lame, and actually it is, but it is also something i’ve been working towards since i was 9. i’m not kidding.

it was on HBO this weekend, and i watched the whole thing. start to finish. WIN!

way back when, in 1995, my best friend becky and i went to see babe in the theater with her family. it was supposed to be fun and exciting. about 30 minutes into the movie, fun and exciting turned to miserable and inconsolable. and becky’s dad was forced to sit in the lobby with me for the remainder of the movie while i sobbed like a huge wuss.

not only did i ruin the movie babe, but i also ruined the following selection of animal-themed movies:

  • the lion king – cried through most of it in the theater. i can’t remember if i made us leave, but i also cried through it in spanish class. embarrassing. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY WERE SAYING. all i knew is living creatures were injured, and i wasn’t having it.
  • bambi – it took years for me to actually watch the whole thing in one sitting.
  • the jungle book – my mom took me to see this in the theater as well, and i made us leave. she never let me live that one down.
  • milo and otis – i watched this at becky’s. i cried and put a blanket over my head, and i probably eventually walked home. i couldn’t take it.
  • free willy – the only thing i know about this movie is the michael jackson song from the soundtrack. i never watched more than 30 seconds of it.
  • jaws – yes, jaws. i actually felt sorry for the shark. i couldn’t finish watching it.
  • the fox and the hound – again, i never saw the whole thing. the lump in my throat got to be unbearable.
  • all dogs go to heaven – i don’t even remember if i ever finished watching this, but judging by my track record, i’m gonna say no. i do remember that i cried. a lot.

was anyone else this much of a pain in the ass as a kid? i realize i’m still a pain in the ass now, at 23, but that’s beside the point.

i can only hope my future children won’t be pansies.