21 Months... Where Did This Month Go?

i have had less than a few nights in the last month to sit and work on one of my OWN projects. i severely overbooked myself lately. if i’ve had a night off, i’ve taken that as an opportunity to stay off the computer. far from it, in fact. i feel like i’m behind on everything.

i have 2 months to get my new version of the def con app pieced together. i’ve had the android studio project open in the background since like february. the bare bones are there, but i’m not proud of it yet.

i threw a plain jane theme up on this website just because i was sick of the other one.

i still haven’t written a personal entry in a couple months. i have one partially drafted, but i feel like every mood requires 20 more tweaks. i can’t get it right just yet. what’s in my head simply won’t come out right in writing yet.

i have a lot of housekeeping to do on random projects i’ve got stashed away. i’m so ashamed.

to top it off, i’m writing this 2 days late AGAIN.

21 months in a nutshell: this child is fucking insane.

insane as in awesome, insane as in more fun than i ever imagined, insane as in more exhausting than i thought was humanly possible. she’s very trying at times, and knows just the right moments to be cute. hilarious and hilariously frustrating. like… you want to be so angry, but GOD that little face. and her tiny voice is so freaking adorable.



  • she’s picking up on EVERYTHING lately. repeating everything. her vocabulary has grown significantly. sometimes it’s hard to figure out what she’s saying but eventually she gets there.
  • she says mommy and daddy non stop. but she says it mostly when pointing to things that belong to us, daddy’s phone. mommy’s car. daddy’s car. mommy’s makeup. socks, shoes, you name it.
  • she helps me get dressed almost every morning. she loves helping me pick out undies, socks, and shoes. she knows to get my socks and put them on each foot, then helps me put my boots on. i love it. she’s also obsessed with putting my clothes on–more specifically my underwear.




  • she’s obsessed with the hose, more so than ever. every afternoon/evening/weekend we’re home, most of it is spent outside if it isn’t raining. and sometimes even if it is raining. she can’t get enough of being outdoors, which i love. yesterday she “helped” the neighbors plant some herbs and tomatoes. she helps water our palm trees daily. she enjoys relocating the neighbors’ pine straw. if there’s water or dirt involved, she’s all in.





  • she’s very generous with hugs and kisses these days. we were laying in bed the other morning watching sesame street on youtube and she turned, looked at me, smiled, put her hand on my face and kind of pet me for a sec, just being goofy. then she puckered up, squinched her eyes together, and leaned in for a big one. i almost died right there. if we’re playing outside, she won’t want to stop playing for ANYTHING. food? “no!” snacks? “no!” but if you ask her for kisses, she will turn right around and lay one on you. eating this up while it lasts, because i know it won’t.

  • she’s getting better at her ABC’s. she has up to G, and then she kinds of fades off. chimes back in for P and T. the “tune” is there, but she mumbles in between a few of them. still cute.

  • whenever she’s petting loki or thor, we always have to tell her “be nice” or “be gentle” because she tends to flail more than she pets. poor loki has taken a beating or two and i’m surprised her eyeballs haven’t been gouged out. evidently caylin thinks that “nice” means “to pet” so she sees ANY animal and starts saying “nice” constantly. our neighbors have a rock manatee in the front yard and she’ll walk up to it, squat down to hug it, and say “nice”. one of the neighbors was walking their dog while caylin and i were on the balcony. “nice”. super cute, kind of weird. even weirder that she kisses rock manatees.

  • “more” is her new favorite word now. brett and i are trying to get her to say “please” either instead of or in addition to the more. she says please mostly when she wants her toothbrush, and the only reason she wants her toothbrush is because she really, REALLY likes her toothpaste. she is also very demanding about cheese, ranch dressing, and chocolate. MORE is going to get old, very quickly. but… still so cute when she says it. please is getting better, will just take some time.

  • she knows her hair/ears/eyes/chin/mouth/nose/head/shoulders/knees/toes/fingers/back/bellybutton. we’re getting there. it’s kind of weird how you might not notice when she’s remembering something you say, and then a few days later you’ll hear her say it, and you’re like… when did you learn that?

  • she finally sits still to let us do her hair–YAY for adorable pigtails. and headbands–she’s finally ok with them. which is great because her hair is so long now it’s getting in her eyes.

  • she still refuses to wear sunglasses for more than 5 seconds. that’s ok. as long as i can get the camera out quick enough.

  • some mornings she likes to help me put my makeup on.

  • her new favorite foods are spinach/artichoke dip, broccoli with ranch, waffles with syrup, chocolate (the face she makes when i even say the word “chocolate” is worth all the chocolate on the planet), rice, and basically anything doused in ranch dressing. any kind of beans are pretty much a favorite as well.

i feel like this age, more than ever so far, feels like everything is “FOR SCIENCE”. like… i’m still not adult enough or responsible enough to handle a child. but here i am. bumbling my way through every single bit of it. more and more i wonder if that’s all life is. a bunch of big kids bumbling their way through it all. because that’s what it feels like.







and if that’s what it really is, i’m totally ok with it.