the only thing i would find more annoying than google just disappearing would be the repercussions of google disappearing–not being able to tell people to “GO GOOGLE IT!!!” when they ask me things and i am less than willing to spit out a wordy, sophisticated, honest answer. i have a lot of pet peeves, but this one takes the cake.
i know i work at tech. support, and i know people know that, but that does not give you the legal rights to my personal time. the night before last, i was doing the dishes, minding my own business, and my neighbor came flying through my door blitzed out of her mind, screaming at the top of her lungs. why? because she spilled BEER in her laptop. yes, beer. welcome to college. so, there really wasn’t anything i could do other than tell her to turn it off. “but it won’t turn off!” she said. i told her to simply hold down the power button. for those of you with finicky laptops, you know that you sometimes have to hold the button down for a good 10 seconds before your screen goes dark and it turns off. well, i had to do it for her. “WHAT DO I DO!!?” she’s normally a loud girl but this was getting to be painful to listen to. i tried to be as calm as possible in saying “turn it off, AND DON’T TURN IT BACK ON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND DO NOT ASK ME ANYMORE COMPUTER QUESTIONS EVER…AGAIN…” i think i did alright.
obviously, for her problem, i couldn’t just say “google it!” because her computer is probably fried. but for things like “how do i set up my router?” or “i can’t get my printer to work” or “my computer is going slow, will you come look at it when you have a minute?”, i find it hard to bite my tongue and not scream those 2 golden words. first of all, if your computer is running like crap, quit looking at porn. second of all, GOOGLE IT!
the only people i “have a minute” for are my roommate and jill because we have that kind of lovely relationship where if the other person needs something, it’s done. it’s that simple. they’ve saved my butt plenty of times and i’ve saved theirs. but for my
friends acquaintances who don’t bother to talk to me or say hey unless their computer is having issues–UP YOURS :) those are also 2 golden words, and should only really be used in extreme cases of anger, like when your ex boyfriend asks you to fix his computer.