i’m in a really weird mood tonight… i can’t even really tell what it is. i’ve been in a strange mood all day. i get on these streaks where i don’t feel like doing anything but curling up in adam’s sweatpants and a hoodie and sitting in front of the TV listening to CMT and watching late night sitcoms and reading random stuff online. it’s nice having the apartment to myself every once in a while. boone is really quiet tonight and so is our apartment building (which never happens) so the only thing i’ve been hearing is merle haggard and loki snoring in my bedroom. i kinda like it.
i miss adam and i am hoping next week i’ll be feeling a bit more bubbly. maybe i’ll be more productive and get more hours in at work and eat less chocolate. i really want to go to the parkway with loki this week or this weekend… i wanna go out in the middle of nowhere and just relax. i just have this urge to get out of wherever it is i am and do something refreshing. you ever have those feelings all jumbled up in your head that are so overwhelming that you really have no idea what they are or how to write them down? that’s kinda what is happening right now. my mind is elsewhere.
i also decided that at some point in my life, i’m going to live on a farm. my mind is made up. i was walking loki earlier and realized that i spend entirely too much time inside on a computer thinking about unimportant crap and i’d rather be outside enjoying everything that life has to offer. whether that is running through a field or shoveling horse shit or playing with goats or yanking weeds or picking vegetables or just playing in the damn dirt… i don’t really give a gosh darn because all of that sounds just peachy right about now.
maybe one of these nights i’ll go out to the parkway with a blanket. every time i drive back to boone from winston, i’ll be sticking my head out the window trying to get a glimpse of the stars because you can see them so well when you’re away from the town and all the lights. it reminds me of how it was on the island in maine. maybe that’s what i’m missing. maybe when adam and i go up there this winter i’ll be able to get my fix on whatever it is i’m craving right now. i can’t wait.