Frustration

gaaahhh…. today seems like it’s neverending!!! i’m so thankful that it’s going on wednesday. thursday afternoon/evening i’m going to winston so i don’t have to drive there friday morning. it’ll be nice to go home again.

i woke up late this morning…i think i reset my alarm half awake or something and i definitely set it for 9:45 instead of 9:30. i went to work and it was an alright day, but i guess i was just in a weird mood in general. maybe i’m just PMSing lately, but i’ve been lacking motivation and energy. it seems like a case of the mondays has lingered into tuesday.

i started looking in the mirror at my tonsils this afternoon when i got home from work and managed to freak myself out again. i get myself all nerved up and diagnose myself with all kinds of horrible things. so i told ashley to come over early for snowboarding because i wanted to go to the infirmary. we went, and the lady told me i shouldn’t worry because my tonsils looked like her daughters tonsils. that could also mean that i have the same freakish disease that her daughter has. unlikely, but still. supposedly there’s nothing wrong. that doesn’t fix the fact that i think they look freaking weird.

ash and i got mcdonald’s and went to snowboarding class. i made it down the mountain lots of times without falling… :biggrin: i was so happy. that “magic carpet” thing that’s the equivalent of the rope tow but you just stand on it like you’re in a mall… that thing apparently stops when you hit the end of the conveyer belt and the girl in front of me couldn’t get her board to scoot off the end so i started stumbling trying not to fall on the guy behind me and i stomped on the end of the belt and the whole damn thing stopped. you know those people who screw up the chair lift and everyone just sits there and waits? yea i was one of those people. and then i got yelled at. we had the written exam after class… i don’t see the point of it because everyone discusses their answers and you can use your book. i wonder if they know how it all works.

now i’m home and laying in bed and i don’t have to do jack crap for the rest of the night. i love that feeling where i’m not stressed and i can just RELAX. especially when i’ve been on a streak of shitty moods and have about had it dealing with people.

i have no patience whatsoever anymore. i have about had it with being teased about everything all the time. i’ve about had it with people trying to push their problems on me. i’ve about had it with completely ignorant people. i think i need a vacation. i’m kind of glad i lived by myself this year. i mean, i am definitely living with people next year. but this year gave me a chance to get to know myself better… what i like/don’t like, how i deal on my own, and i can figure out my retarded mood swings, and i have a place to get away from everything. being able to get away from people lately has been a necessity.

right now, i’m content sitting in my bed on my sweet new laptop talking to the love of my life and jill discussing this weekend and spring break plans. nothing could please me more.

this was not a very cheerful post… but i need to vent and adam can only take so much. deep breaths… deep breaths.