Freak Accident(s)

apparently when i took jack and loki out to pee this morning, jack did not empty his bladder because as soon as adam shifted positions on the couch at 2:30 this afternoon, jack got either excited or just coincidentally had to pee really bad. he started taking a leak right in front of us in the middle of the living room.

i had my laptop on my lap and adam’s legs were covering mine so i couldn’t very well jump to the rescue. adam’s brain wasn’t fully functioning yet, so we both kind of stared until it actually set in that that just happened. it was like a lightbulb went on for both of us. adam leaped off the couch, smacked jack, and went to get his flip flops to take him out. i ran to get paper towels and the resolve carpet spray. before either of us could do either one of those things, jack was taking a leak again. i was all, SERIOUSLY?? how does your tiny body hold a gallon of pee??

adam got angry instead of just agitated. he picked up jack and threw him to his cage. he’s not a morning person and also not the most calm when he gets pissed off, so the throw wasn’t exactly a gentle toss, but rather a hurl. i guess jack twisted his leg or hit it really hard or something because he started SCREAMING. i’ve heard jack whine like hell before and i’ve heard him yelp and screech but this was far worse than anything i’ve ever heard come out of him before. given that males aren’t generally the nurturing type, adam kind of sat there and just held jack by the neck. well, that’s obviously not going to do a damn thing. i stepped in.

i scooped up jack and held him and rubbed his leg until my eardrums stopped bleeding. a lot of times when he and loki play fight and loki chews a little too hard, he’ll shriek and do the same whole “omg i’m dying” spiel and scream (not nearly this bad, normally) and limp for about 10 minutes. this time, he’s been limping since it happened and i feel really bad. jack gets on my nerves 99% of the time i’m around him, but i am such a pushover for his sad eyes.

i cradled him for a pretty good while. then he peed again from all the excitement and instead of it being on the carpet, it was on himself–EW. i had to carry him outside to let him drain it one last time and since i had to carry him, i obviously had to come in contact with said pee.

when i brought him back inside, i decided it would be a smart idea to give him a bath because i was completely grossed out at this point and it probably smelled. i put jack in the bathtub and got a glass (couldn’t find a plastic cup) to pour water on him with. adam’s shower doesn’t have one of those detachable shower heads. i got him all wet and lathered up and started rinsing him off. the glass i used had a little crack in it already but i guess it smacked the bottom of the tub too hard and it shattered. i didn’t even know it shattered and i definitely didn’t realize that i had sliced my finger wide open until blood started gushing out everywhere.

luckily i had unicorn bandaids (made with real unicorn tears for healing power) and some neosporin at my rescue. it didn’t stop bleeding for a heck of a long time but somehow, bandaids always make it feel better right away.

at the end of the day, we had a nasty carpet, a dog with a sprained leg/ankle/whatever, a bloodied shower curtain, and a sliced open finger, all because i didn’t let jack drain the main vein for all of the 2 hours it takes him to take a leak. the moral of this story is–let your dog pee, for gosh sakes, because you might end up in the hospital.