Busiest 3 Months of my Life

first, loki got her tumor back in november. that was bad. it’s still not over, but she only has 2 more chemo treatments to go, and she’s doing awesome. so that’s been our fun thursday activity for some time now.

thanksgiving and christmas were hectic, as always, but this christmas was especially interesting, because the week before christmas brett and i found out we were pregnant.

and as you probably know, the wedding was going to be in september. but because i didn’t want to have the wedding near the end of or right after the pregnancy, we bumped the wedding up to… 8 days from today. since i’m only 8 and a half weeks pregnant, i won’t be showing my wedding gown. YAY.

and now that the wedding is in january, that left me with little time to prepare for all of this. i magically organized the whole wedding in less than 2 weeks, which i’m glad i did, but now i keep trying to think of things i might have missed. which i’m sure i have.

i guess in the end, as long as the food shows up, people get their booze and cake, and my dress fits, we’re good to go.

then there’s the honeymoon. since neither of us were expecting any of this, we were extremely lucky to be able to take off work for everything. that is a miracle in itself. we’ll be at disney world the entire week after the wedding, and i could not be happier about this. there is NO way anyone can go to disney world and NOT have fun. i have been hard at work making reservations… psyched.

i told myself i wouldn’t be doing any website work from now until we get back from the honeymoon, and i’m so glad i did that. i think i would’ve lost my mind had i tried, because my company decided to have another mobile app hackathon this month. specifically this week. so in addition to work, i’ve been waist deep in java for the last 5 days, and i can’t seem to get away from intellij even if it’s just to eat my lunch.

so not only are we a week away from the wedding, but we also had our first ultrasound yesterday. i left for the doctor appointment irritated at a nullpointerexception i couldn’t fix in time. let’s just say… i forgot about it. quickly. i can now say with 100% confidence that there is a tiny human in there and its heartbeat lit up the monitor like a little firefly. i guess i forgot about the part where this is actually a really emotional experience and my eyes started welling up instantly. i was able to hold it back, but my whole body was shaking and my heartbeat felt like it tripled.

it’s wild how quickly things can change, and i know people say that all the time. but i guess this is just my first time experiencing just how drastic those changes can be.

2 months ago, i was picturing getting drunk with brett at our wedding and partying our asses off at pleasure island. now all i can think about is how i need to do everything i can not to screw this baby up. and what happens after that? and now we need a nursery. and we have to have a baby shower. and at some point i have to become okay with diapers and the stuff that goes in them. and i’ll probably have to trade my truck in at some point before i’m due. i still have a red hat security exam in june. depending on how all this works out, that may or may not have to be cancelled.

there is just so much to do now that i never would have thought about. all i know is that i’m happy and terrified at the same time, and we’ll see where this all takes us.