2024

i have been wanting to write this for weeks but never carved out the time, and it's been a draft for at least 2 now. if there's one thing i've learned in the last few years, forcing the time or the words to happen never works. i have to wait until a window appears. and that was tonight, so here we are.

man, what a year. 2024 was a year of... unprecedented growth, heartbreak, bliss, adventures, fear, you name it. ripped my heart wide open, and put myself back together better than i was before.

anyone who's stayed close to me over the last few years has witnessed my journey. no one's growth or healing is ever done. and 2024 was no different. except that it was nothing like anything i'd ever experienced in my life.

after living in austin for almost 3 years, for so many reasons, everything changed. and it didn't feel good. eric and i found out in 2023 that i would be moving to north carolina within a year, which as most of you reading this know, is home for me. of course, it's nice to go home. be closer to my dad, my stepmom, friends i almost never got to see for so many years... of course those are wonderful parts to consider.

on the other hand, being ripped from the coziest, most comfortable, amazing home that eric and i had built with our 5 kids--that stung. a lot. for us, and for the kids.

we had a year to worry about it, debate about it, reconsider, un-reconsider, cry, laugh, sob, wonder, scream, doubt, but above all, we talked about it. a lot. we talked about the hard things, the shadows, the doubts, the fears, and we did the work. i mean, we really, really did the work. for months. and we decided... let's do this. we choose us. we choose this life together. and we have already made it through harder things than this.

and just like that, everything else just fell into place.

2024 recap:

i found needle felting
i binged on smalland and palworld with eric and the kids
we did spring break in wimberly with the fam
we took all the kids camping and hiking with our soul fam and it was beautiful
we did ren faire again, never gets old
we went to the texas eclipse festival with hailey and david, my first big fest... eye-opening, beautiful, just magic
we were evacuated from the texas eclipse festival due to weather, made our way to the hive to spend the eclipse with our soul fam... and eric proposed right before the eclipse happened <3
we went to vegas for a night for eric to record an episode with a good friend of ours, saw the big apple, i watched them record in a real studio and was so proud of him (always)
ella won basketball games--she's getting better every time, and she's on a new team here, too, so proud
we went to local festivals with the kids
eric and i went to our first RSA con... saw some of our favorite humans but, i think i'm good on RSA, once was enough
we all went to disney on ice for mother's day
eric and i went to hangout fest in alabama, saw some of our favorites... odesza, kasbo, and several more.. made new friends and it was beautiful
we went to a VERY fancy wedding in denver and had to go shopping just to find clothes to wear, and we did, and it was equal parts uncomfortable and completely wonderful
zoey had her first hospital visit--cracked her head open doing a back flip into the pool and had to get staples
we took the kids to the playground and pool fleventy five thousand times
we went to NYC with hailey and david and saw odesza, on the rail, at madison square garden, minds blown forever
eric and i spent my birthday in ohio seeing third eye blind live, with yellowcard.. bliss
i've taken the girls to my dad's several times since moving here
i've been back to austin so many times that i've lost count--we now have 2 homes and never have to pack
eric and matt and i taught at black hat again, and ran our new CTF , CTRL+ALT+DETECT at DEF CON--nailed it <3
we found the soul fam in the our NC area, went to some really incredible festivals and found our people, caylin fell in love with cacao
we went to disney with everyone again, and i miss it
we made new neighbor friends in austin and they are just the best--eric really hit the neighbor lottery
we had our second annual MSSN CTRL limacharlie conference
eric and i taught at wild west hackin' fest again, and it went really well and we had a blast
all 3 girls started scouting and we had our first camping trip, and it's nice to have the girls getting into new things
i took the kids to scarowinds, something i'd been wanting to do since I WAS their age, and it was just insane, even went on their first upside down roller coasters, and creepy clowns scared us all
the girls and i have found all the playgrounds and all the cute restaurants in the surrounding area
eric and hailey came to visit and we went to boone and blowing rock--absolutely beautiful in the fall, always, and then we saw kasbo in charlotte... can't even describe how good it was
eric got to meet all my nerd friends from back home at a halloween party and i have been waiting for this moment for so long and it finally happened
i took the girls to the ren faire here in NC and we had an AMAZING time, i also went the weekend before with eric and my dad and stepmom--i lived here for 20 years before and never got to go, finally made it happen, AND we dressed up, AND got wax hands <3 kids even rode camels
we went to panama with limacharlie for our company offsite, had never been and it was a beautiful experience
caylin and i took a day trip to syracuse to visit my mom and grandma, so fun and much needed
me and the girls fell in love with trader joes and go every chance we get
we had a holiday girls night to see lindsey stirling's christmas concert, and i cried i was so happy--put us up in a hotel in downtown charlotte for the night like we were fancy and had a blast
i finally dove into 3d printing and it's been SO. MUCH. FUN. and also so time consuming, but worth it
caylin had her first band concert playing the flute, and she was amazing <3
zoey also had her first chorus club concert, and she loved it
my thor passed away in december, and it still hits me in the feels when i sit on the couch and look at his picture--enter storm, the chaos kitten... and he's a handful, but i think he will turn out ok, thor would approve.. and the girls are obsessed

2024 was a lot of things. but above all, it was growth, acceptance, and learning to flow. it showed me how unbelievably lucky i am to be able to live this life.

and it is beautiful.