What Is Love… Baby Don’t Hurt Me…

*cue night at the roxbury music*

W: dude! i just looked at that truck and it said 53′ on the side of it, and THEN we passed mile marker 53! jesus is playing tricks on us!

B: yea… jesus already played a trick on you, babe.

why am i with him again?

*drives by a prius*

B: pfft… you think you’re special with your prius hybrid… oh look, i’m good for the environment… i’m special!

W: you drive a gas-guzzling ESCALADE!

B: LOOK… i’m amurican… and i drive like an amurican!

W: let me out. now.

B: not yet, ’cause you still got work to do.

W: excuse me?

B: you gotta bear me some chirrens [childrens], woman.

when the day comes and i bear him his chirrens, i hope to god they become figure skaters and despise football. just to spite him.

then he left me this in my bathroom. no, it’s not a turd.

B: you just got favre’d!

*both laughing, me a little pissed, mostly because he’d been making fun of me ALL DAY*

W: you know, this is going to all bottle up, and one day, i’m just going to explode. IN YOUR FACE.

*tries his best to not laugh and then nearly dies, i start yelling at him*

B: I’M SORRY! i’m sorry! but… EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE!

W: i hate you.

*pathetic sympathy hug*

B: and i’m sorry you fell down the front porch stairs.

*then i slammed the door on him*

i hope there are other couples who do this. and by “this” i mean “pick on your girlfriend constantly”.


  • @gfrice says:

    We all do it, its a self-esteem thing. You ladies control 99% of our lives once we enter that "permanent" phase, so the constant picking is our little way of redeeming ourselves. Remember back to the playground when we used to pull your pigtails. Its the same thing.

  • Christine says:

    This actually means that your relationship will last awhile. If you both can pick on each other and laugh about it together (without arguing) it's a good thing.

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