Idiocracy Is No Longer Just A Movie… It’s A Prophecy

adam and i have been neglecting the grocery shopping lately. the cabinets are bare except for the ramen and oreos, which is why i had oreos and mountain dew for breakfast. i don’t eat ramen unless i’m desperate. and oreos are a far cry from desperation.

anyway, we decided to go get KFC instead. not a healthy choice, but we’ve been eating really well lately. i’m talking salads and veggies every night with a good meal like baked chicken or stuffed peppers or pork loin. we freaking rock lately. so we evened out the healthiness with a crapton of grease–yep. we get to the window to order our food and this is what happened:

adam: can i get a colonel’s cravin’ filet combo with the chips?

[25-30 seconds pass]

kfc guy: i’m sorry. do you want a colonel’s cravin’ filet sandwich?
adam: i want the combo. with the chips.

[30 seconds pass]

kfc guy: do you want the sandwich or the combo?
adam: i want the combo with the CHIPS!
me: CHIPS!!!!!!!!!111 i want CHIPS!

[20 seconds pass]

kfc guy: what kind of drink do you want?
adam: orange soda.
kfc guy: we ran out of orange soda.
adam: ok, pepsi.

[30 seconds later]

kfc guy: i’m sorry, did you say you wanted wedges with that cravin’ filet combo?
me: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!
adam: whitney! shut up! we want the chips.
kfc guy: we don’t have chips.
adam: can we just get wedges?
kfc guy: i’m sorry, what did you want to drink with that combo?
adam: a PEPSI!

[30 seconds pass… meanwhile i’m ranting in the passenger’s seat]

kfc guy: can i get anything else for you?
adam: yes, can i get a potato bowl combo?
kfc guy: mashed potatoes. anything else?
adam: i want a potato bowl COMBO!
kfc guy: did you say you want a combo?
adam: yes!
kfc guy: what to drink?
adam: mountain dew.
kfc guy: 1st window, please.

oh my god. i hate fayetteville, but this was on another level of stupidity. keep in mind (i apologize for the next few words) that i’m irritable and PMSing. but you don’t have to be a genius to work a cash register. and you definitely don’t have to be a genius to be employed at KFC. it should not have taken us 20 minutes to order our food. i have zero patience for complete morons. call me a bitch, but there is a thing called actually giving a shit about your work–whether it be at mcdonald’s or microsoft. if you provide a service to the public, at least TRY to act like you know what you’re doing.

i see people like this and it makes me want to smack them upside the head. i am honestly scared of what the world will be like in 60 years. and then i actually will hope and pray that luke wilson appears out of a top secret hibernation capsule and restores peace and sanity and good ol’ fashioned knowledge to mankind.

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