“Georgia On My Mind…”

brett and i went to georgia last night so he could take his CISSP exam at fort gordon this morning. for whatever reason, that was the closest one to charleston besides the one IN charleston, which was a lot further away than he wanted to wait. so… that’s why we had to go to georgia.

SO. it’s a 3 hour drive from charleston. we didn’t leave until almost 6PM last night. i drove. i don’t know why, because i hate driving in the dark. it seems like i have zero depth perception driving in the dark (potential problem, perhaps?). but i also love adventures and driving to new and exciting places. and i like driving my new truck. so i kind of forced us into the situation in the first place.

this drive is through the middle of NOWHERE and i couldn’t tell you how many back roads we took. there were a lot. i almost hit several pets. yes, PETS. dogs and cats running all over the damn place. possums everywhere. 2 lane road the whole way there, save for the last 10 miles which is highway which is where our hotel was. right off the highway. i have since been informed that we stayed kind of in the ghetto but, who knew? plus it was less than 5 minutes from base which made for a super quick drive at 7:30 in the morning.

since we left at 6, i figured we’d stop for food on the way. except that didn’t pan out since there was no food that wasn’t hardees, taco bell, or mcdonald’s for the entire trip up until we hit the SC border. no, thank you! so by the time we got to augusta around 9:30, we hit the first restaurant we found, which was mexican.

but it was actually in a place that used to be a chinese buffet, and i really wish i had taken pictures but i was too embarrassed to stand up and start snapping photos of the total ridiculousness of this place.

they hadn’t even changed the decor since turning it into a mexican restaurant. normally, this would be fine, except chinese and mexican cultures kind of clash. a lot. and when you have koi fish painted everywhere, along with huge asian murals and paintings of china and mountain ranges with chinese lettering around the border, and chandeliers, it throws off the vibe a bit. no matter how much they both use rice.

i did manage to get a picture of this little guy. for real. they dressed up their hot sauce bottles.

and here’s a picture of brett looking awkward.

as multicultural and exciting as it was, we scarfed down our food and went to our hotel. checked in and passed out. got up at 6:30 this morning and showered. i drove brett to fort gordon and dropped him off, and then i went on my merry way.

usually, i *love* driving around random towns and exploring. except i wasn’t really prepared for that today, since the only clothing i packed was an extra t-shirt, the sweatpants i wore yesterday, and flip flops, and it was pouring rain and 35 degrees. not the best choice i ever made, but it was for 1 night. i also forgot my toothbrush and toothpaste, and half of my makeup. whatever.

i decided to go to kohl’s to find a pair of jeans. i needed a new pair that weren’t “nice” anyway. i wanted a pair that i could eventually destroy and wear until they’re only hanging together by a thread, and i had a gift card. over an hour later, i came out with 2 pairs of jeans, a dress, and more crap that i didn’t need. and also a kohl’s credit card. and i don’t feel bad about it because i just paid off my best buy card in full with my tax return, so as of today, i am only $100 in debt. not including the truck. i don’t count that because it will be many moons before that happens. it’s best not to think about it.

while i was in kohl’s, i learned a very valuable lesson. that lesson being, don’t wear jeggings if your thighs aren’t the size of toothpicks, or if you just don’t want to break a sweat in a dressing room. or just don’t ever wear them period. i thought they were just your typical pair of stretchy jeans, but i was OH so wrong.

if you’re a size 3 in regular jeans, you probably aren’t a size 3 in jeggings. or maybe that’s just me. but it didn’t work out, and i got stuck, and i was in the dressing room for the better part of 30 minutes. and then i spent the next 30 minutes desperately trying to recover from the horror i saw in the mirror, witnessing my own stupidity, flailing about, thinking “that can’t really be me i’m looking at right now”. ripped up labels and price tags and stickers strewn about the floor.

what better way to recover from dressing room disasters? go bra shopping! which is what i did. which is actually NOT helpful in recovering from dressing room disasters, and only adds to the depression. bras are fucking sneaky, and by sneaky i mean they look fantastic on the rack (ha, ha, pun only semi-intended), and then they look totally NOT fantastic on, well, the other rack. the one with the boobs. especially the stupid strapless ones. i swear to god you need duct tape to keep that crap on if you’re anything over a B cup.

the 2 activities i hate the absolute most, with every fiber of my being, i did within an hour of each other. worst. idea. ever. i needed some help. so i did the only thing i could think of.

i put my sweatpants back on and went to the wild wing cafe, ate wings, sat at the bar, and drank beer and whiskey sours for the rest of the afternoon until brett finished his exam. and i even got free drinks out of it. consider the depression squashed.

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