yesterday i was eating lunch after one of my classes in the student lounge with my roommate and a friend of hers. it was just the 3 of us in the entire lounge… which means other than the 3 seats our little butts were taking up, there were dozens more that were vacant.
this guy walks into the lounge and walks right through the 3 of us when we were talking. i was sitting on a 2-person couch and i was kind of sitting towards the middle. i had my lunch and my backpack and my purse and all my things kind of sprawled out everywhere. this guy decides to sit down next to me anyways. i am terrible at ignoring events like this because all i can do at this point is start giggling (probably for the most part out of discomfort and confusion) and it doesn’t help that laura and KT are looking at me with these wide-eyed “WTF” faces. it was hilarious and i just couldn’t keep it in. i don’t think i could ever be an actress.
so anyway, it gets better. he sits there for a few moments and then turns to me and says in a thick redneck accent, “i’m gonna lay my head down right here, okay?” which made me almost scream because at this point, he gave me no time to respond, and immediately put his head down right next to my ass. there is really no room on this couch for a grown, and fairly tall, man to lay down. i now had a complete stranger sitting head-to-ass with me and the 3 of us felt like this was the perfect opportunity to leave.
as soon as i got off the couch, he scooted up on the couch and put his head right where my ass was previously sitting. this is the conversation on the way out of the building:
me: did that really just happen? laura, what just happened?
laura: whitney, he just wanted your butt-warmth
me: OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST SAY BUTT-WARMTH?
needless to say, i went to class with an awkward look on my face. i think i just attract weirdos.