After Lunch Discussion

W: what was that noise?

B: i tried to barp while going over the railroad tracks.

W: …barp?

B: did i just say barp?

W: what the hell is barp??

B: it sounds like burp, but rhymes with larp, but they are completely unrelated. you can burp while you larp, but NEVER larp while you burp…

W: you’re retarded. it sounds like burp and fart mixed together.

B: that is the perfect definition! it’s when you furt and burp within 5 seconds of each other.

W: FURT?!

B: I AM SO GOOD AT THIS! it’s like the wikipedia of stupidity! you can only furt when you fart within 5 seconds of burping, and you can only barp when you burp within 5 seconds of farting… i’m going to try this later.

W: please, don’t.

B: and if it happens while i’m at work, [insert coworker’s name] is just going to have to deal with it.

W: oh my god. i’m getting out of the car. bye.

B: i love you, too.

W: what? i said bye.

B: i think i might have syphilis.

W: WHAT?!

B: did you give me syphilis?

W: i love you. bye.

if today is leaning in this direction already without alcohol, i hate to see what this evening will bring.

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