i feel like the clouds have lifted. after 2 years of being horribly self-conscious of my smile, things are finally going to turn around.

i’ve been to like 5 different dentists in NC and SC since i started this adventure. i didn’t like any of them. they were either mean or just uncooperative, and unwilling to help me. at least not to the extent that i needed. they’d do some fillings here and there, which have ended up looking like a patchwork on my teeth. half of the fillings from the first dentist failed or fell out because they were done incorrectly. this i learned just today from my new dentist. go figure.

what i’ve really wanted this entire time is either veneers or crowns. everyplace i’ve gone has quoted me at around $1500/tooth. that is just not something i can afford. especially not with all the money i’ve had to spend on loki in the last 4 months. and with a baby on the way, it’s even more insane. one dentist even tried to make sense of this ridiculous dollar amount by comparing less expensive/expensive veneers to a saturn and a ferrari… really? REALLY?

so i kept looking, unwilling to settle for someplace that made me anything less than comfortable. the place i went today… well, i didn’t expect much because i found it on google maps. no website, just a phone number and a dentist’s name. so i called and made an appointment, and crossed my fingers.

best decision i ever made.

during my appointment, the dentist told me that she feels too old fashioned to have a website, and that her work, her team, and recommendations should stand out enough to keep them in business. and i guess that’s worked wonders because this is THE fanciest, cleanest, KINDEST, most awesome dentist office i’ve ever visited in my life. i couldn’t believe it. the receptionists were doting on me, the dental assistants were just the most fun people to be around and talked about all kinds of random stuff, everyone shook my hand, and the dentist was the first dentist that i’ve had that didn’t talk down to me like i was a 12 year old. to top it off, they all kept telling me that i’m pretty. i mean, you have your hands all in my mouth and my face is contorted. but still… they appreciate their patients. phenomenal.

after all was said and done, they took videos and molds of my mouth. i’m going to get 3 veneers and 3 crowns on my 6 front teeth. they’re going to do it all in my next 2 visits. prep work and temporary veneers/crowns will stay in for 3 weeks, and then the real ones go on. i opened up a care credit program to help finance half of what it’s going to cost. it’s going to be expensive (like i knew it would be), but far less than what i had calculated (almost half) with the other dentists i’d gotten quotes from. it ends up being around $840 a tooth after all is said and done, and they’re doing free whitening on the rest of my teeth (another $850 that i won’t have to pay for).

this time around, i have more money saved up for it, and have been busy paying off loki bills and doing a lot of refinancing (car, credit card) because i KNEW i wanted to get this done, and soon. it’s been killing me. i barely smiled in our wedding photos, which makes me HATE myself for not doing this sooner. but it just wasn’t in the cards back then.

i can already feel my confidence slowly coming back. this is actually going to happen this time.

i get this feeling every year around thanksgiving and christmas. i begin to think of all the traveling i’m about to do. it’s a bit daunting.

either tuesday night or wednesday morning, brett and i will be driving to mooresville.

i may or may not drive to winston that night. if i don’t go that night, i’ll go the next morning.

that day, i’m driving to raleigh with my mom to visit my grandparents.

then we’re driving back to winston that night so i can drive to my dad’s the next morning to have a second thanksgiving with them.

then i’m either driving to mooresville that night or the next morning to go back to brett’s. we have planned to spend the day saturday looking for places to get married.

i am pretty sure we’ve decided on the reception venue, so we need to find a church for the ceremony. which makes me a little uneasy because i’m not a very church-y person (going to a private southern baptist middle school kind of beat that out of me), and i already know that i won’t be comfortable with a big fancy church with the organ playing and the whole 9 yards. that scares the crap out of me.

and this is the south, so there are a lot of those. but i’ll be damned if we’re not gonna try to find one that suits BOTH of us.

i am really hoping we find someplace this weekend so we can actually start planning things. i have all these fun ideas, but i am kind of stuck right now since i don’t know how those ideas can actually unfold when i have nowhere to imagine them in.

i feel so behind in all of this. but, such is life. it will be an awesome day no matter what.

and the latest news on the loki front… she had her first round of chemo today! she did fantastic, despite the first 5 minutes that she spent shaking severely. every time she sees someone in blue scrubs now she just turns into a nervous wreck. for that, i can’t really blame her. but she’s done and is acting normal, tormenting the cat, begging for ham.

i did have a bit of a scare about an hour ago because she wouldn’t walk on the leg they put the IV in and kept holding it up like it hurt. i think the bandage was too tight, but i called the vet and they told me to bring her back in (open 24/7 and it’s literally across the street from us, couldn’t be more convenient). they wanted to make sure she didn’t have a bad reaction to the chemo, but they said she’s fine and they removed the bandage and they didn’t even charge me. thank god.

i’ve been paying off as much of my credit card balance as possible lately, and i’ve beaten my first goal, which was pay off as much of the surgery as possible before chemo starts so that the entire cost of chemo won’t max out my credit limit. so… i feel better about that. :) the last thing i want is to have my card maxed out. mostly because of emergencies and i am having dental work done in the near future, but christmas is also coming up. i’m way behind in comparison to last year when i got ALL my christmas shopping done by october. amazon is awesome that way.

back to website work, and another shot of whiskey with brett. here’s to paying off that credit card! :)

i left for iowa monday evening. brett dropped me off at the airport, 45 minutes later i was in the air and on my way to chicago. everything went smoothly, got my bags, drove to the hotel, checked in, played angry birds for an hour (dangerous addiction, people) and finally passed out. i stayed up way too late for having to get up at 5:30 the next morning, but if you’ve played that game you can vouch for me when i say it is SO HARD TO PUT DOWN. you’d think stupid golden eggs wouldn’t be enough to have such a grip on a person’s life.

i got up, showered, and followed my boss to our meeting. i have a hard time with 7:30 in the morning, so i drank a 5-hour, plus my coffee, and had a muffin. i don’t know how i’d never had a poppy seed muffin before, but i’d never had one until halloween weekend, and now i love them. especially the ones at T.K. tripps–they are to die for. if you don’t have a T.K tripps in your area, i feel sorry for you. because they are incredible and they serve them during brunch with warm butter and i can’t think of anything more awesome for a sunday brunch. besides mimosas. but i’m not ballsy enough to do that in public.

ANYWAY, the meeting was actually a preliminary design review so it wasn’t your typical meeting. which means it was long. which means it lasted from 8 in the morning until 6 at night. which means that i almost died twice during the entire thing and the only thing that saved me was the chocolate cake and mountain dew and my cell phone. i was texting brett every couple hours, mostly because i don’t have the attention span required to sit through one of these things. the overall event was very informative and interesting–i enjoyed 90% of it. but 10 hours in the same room had me twitching in my seat to the point where people probably thought i had to pee. it was difficult, but i learned a lot. and more than i ever thought i would know (or need to know) about kernel separation.

we went out to dinner with everyone afterward. my cousin met up with us, so it was nice to see her. i ordered a caesar salad thinking it would be, you know, a regular salad. with lettuce and parmesan and croutons and dressing. it wasn’t. it was 5 pieces of lettuce with a mountain of mushrooms, banana peppers, onions, no croutons, and dressing. i was sad. i hate mushrooms, and onions, and banana peppers. to top it off, my pasta alfredo made me feel sick to my stomach. or it might have been the whiskey sour i ordered that had absolutely zero sour in it, a splash of sprite (maybe? it had bubbles), and entirely too much whiskey. that was the only drink i had that evening. and for the entire trip.

i got up wednesday morning to fly home and i made sure to wake up early enough to go by a kohl’s or a target to get new sunglasses. i broke mine. again. i found a kohl’s and didn’t find sunglasses, but i did find more sweater dresses and matching jewelry. next time i break my glasses, i’m going to a gas station. or a CVS.

i flew home (i’m skipping the long part about where i almost didn’t get a seat on my connecting flight and had to walk 85 miles through chicago o’hare just to get my stupid ticket), and brett picked me up at the airport. i walked into the apartment, and to my absolute amazement, he had vacuumed, cleaned the dishes, taken the trash out, wiped down the table, and made the bed. i had been dreading coming home (not really, i never dread coming home, i just hate cat litter) and finding kitty litter all over my bathroom floor, and then i came home to this. and it made me so happy. i am truly lucky and i don’t think i can say that enough. my man is incredible.

we hung out and watched the last episode of dexter and relaxed for the remainder of the evening. thursday was a government holiday so we didn’t have to get up early the next morning. but we probably should have.

first of all, my car was still in the shop. the guy called and told me that the problem was actually in the transmission (they thought it was a spring but that wasn’t the case) so instead of $300, it would cost $2000. a bit more than i had hoped for. originally, brett and i planned on going to get boxes and start packing on thursday. but plans quickly changed when i realized i needed to get a car instead. we are actually moving out of our apartment today (friday) and don’t get the u-haul until tomorrow, so having only 1 car would be a bit of a pain in the ass. especially since i still want to go to my welding class tomorrow. transportation NIGHTMARE.

we went to toyota because for as long as i can remember, i’ve wanted a toyota tacoma, black, extended cab, lifted, shiny toolbox in the back, the whole nine yards. we looked at prices on what i wanted and as it turns out, i have expensive taste. toyota is not cheap. and while they are great cars, i don’t wan’t to (read CAN’T) spend $27,000 on a used truck. that’s just not happening. so we headed to the ford dealership near our apartment. i was kind of bummed because i couldn’t get the tacoma, and i didn’t really see anything at the ford place either while we walked around. and then finally i saw a black F150 in front of me and i felt the urge. i felt the THIS IS MY NEW CAR feeling and the butterflies and i knew i was getting my hopes up.

i don’t really have any credit aside from my best buy credit card that i got in march (note to readers, if you don’t have one, don’t ever get one). i don’t think the march-november time frame on a jointly paid credit card from HSBC is really a great credit building achievement so we told the salesman that i wanted to see if i could even THINK about buying this truck before i got let down in the end. we filled out a whole mess of paperwork and when they told me that i would be approved, i think i shed a tear. i mean, i make good money, i don’t have kids, my rent is split with brett so we really don’t pay much on the apartment, and aside from that and a few bills we have totally disposable income. on paper, it makes sense that i would get approved, but since i had to have my mom co-sign on my BEST BUY CREDIT CARD, getting approved for a loan on a car seemed a bit out of my league.

i was more than pleasantly surprised. so i am the proud new owner of a ford F150 FX2 sport. it is black and shiny and i couldn’t be happier. also, i’m fairly certain that brett will try to steal it if i don’t keep an eye on it. next step == learning to park it correctly.

the car buying process took out a good chunk of our day. we got home around 6:30 in the evening and still had to start packing. and surprisingly, we got most of it done. or maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me because the apartment is in shambles. i hate moving, and i REALLY hate moving again after 6 months. this town house has GOT to last us at least a year or 2. hopefully at that point we’ll be ready to buy a house. who knows.

i don’t think i can even cram anything else into my schedule today. after i leave work, i have to go to the treasurer’s office to pay property taxes on my car, go by the rental office and drop off november rent for the townhouse, get the keys, and go to the apartment. pick up brett, who is going to take me to the transmission shop to pick up my car. drive my car to the ford dealership and get the plates switched. then come back to the apartment, start loading up the truck, and then begin the moving process. which will last all weekend. my mom gets here today, brett’s parents get here tomorrow, and hopefully we can get a lot of the moving done tonight and leave the heavy lifting for brett and his dad.

this is the ONLY scenario in my entire life where i actually can say that i can’t wait until monday.

i got all excited yesterday thinking i was going to buy the silk spectre costume for halloween, despite its $60 (+ shipping) price tag. i slept on it, and decided against it.

i just forked out $140 for flu meds and a new inhaler, i shopped over the weekend with my stepmom, and i have a dentist appointment coming up in 2 weeks to get fillings. then, of course, there’s christmas, and vegas is ~2 months away. i do not need to blow $80 on a halloween costume that may or may not fit correctly and will only be worn 1 day out of the year. i have to be good. :mad: this is me actively talking myself out of submitting my credit card number on that website.

i originally wanted to be a ladybug (i love ladybugs!!!1)… it’s just that when i saw the silk spectre costume, my mind went all OOOH and the ladybug thing kind of flew out the window. but i have a cute top, skirt, and boots at home to wear. i found fishnet stockings and lacy, red and black bloomers at hot topic. i just need some antennae and black wings.

this also gives me an excuse to go to party city and play with crafts when i get off work. :lovestruck:

when i get the costume together, i will have to take pictures with my IPHONE because some LOSER stole my real camera. UUUGH!!