brett is leaving to go to africa tomorrow for work. and here i am thinking i was done with deployments, done with saying goodbye… not so much. at least it’s less than a month. i can handle less than a month.

i knew this would happen to one or both of us at some point. that kind of comes with government contracting territory. it will be the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other. i think the longest we’ve ever gone is 12 days, which isn’t much. and, even then, we were both like THIS SUCKS. 25 days? i’m willing to bet there will be a lot of whining.

i have the CISSP to keep me occupied–i will be studying a lot more for that while he’s gone. this might actually help speed up the process, as i’ve been slacking lately at hitting the books. i also have websites in the works, so i will certainly be keeping myself busy.

the internet over there isn’t that great, but it will suffice for talking on gchat, and possibly skype. we’ll have to see how that goes. i foresee a lot of dropped calls and crapped out connections in our future.

all this to say–i will miss you, brett. please be careful, come home in one piece, call me whenever possible, and for the love of god, stay on the military base. also, i love you.

i will miss this face.

brett and i are heading up to NC this weekend. seven devils, to be specific. we both miss the high country, and would like to get the hell out of charleston (the low country) for another weekend before he goes to africa. yes, i said africa. i wanted to go, too, but evidently they (our project managers) frown upon small females going to marine corps bases in third world countries to test computer systems. HUGE BUMMER. i’d really like to play with the hyenas.

anyway, this cabin is, HANDS DOWN, one of my favorite places on earth. brett’s parents own it and rent it out online. i will provide the link to it (with their permission, of course) AFTER this weekend. when we’re already back in south carolina. for obvious reasons.

i love it because it’s in the mountains. that is where i belong. in the mountains. why? let me show you.

this is why.

THIS is why.

this gives me goosebumps.

i even miss this. somehow, by the grace of god, charleston got snow this winter, but nothing close to this.

when i get sick of doing information security, which will hopefully be a long way off, i want to retreat back to the mountains. i want to live in a cabin. with blankets, hot chocolate, loki, thor, steak, an abundance of sweatpants, my handsome best friend, and a mountain of coors light. and my laptop, assuming web development is even necessary in 40 years. and assuming we even have laptops in 40 years. i really don’t even want to think about what earth will be like in 40 years.

i’m getting way off topic and i’m almost scaring myself, so i just want to say… i’m super excited about this weekend. we’re bringing food and beer with us so we don’t have to spend much money while we’re up there. he drives an escalade, which isn’t exactly wallet-friendly. the only other thing i will be willing to spend money on is macado’s, which is ALWAYS acceptable. always.

all photos (except the cabin pictures) are by my friend, leander. you can find more of his photography here. hi, leander!

my new pet came in the mail yesterday. FINALLY. he does absolutely nothing, and is so not worth the $20 i paid, but i couldn’t resist. i believe i’ve made it quite obvious that i’m addicted to twitter (and every other form of social networking). and now i will tote him all over the globe. wherever i go, he will be there. and i will snap a photo.

except for at work, because if i bring my iPhone in here they might kill my first born. well, probably not. but i would most likely lose my badge. perhaps a limb. definitely my iPhone.

i did actually bring him to work, though. i must stay prepared for a potential adventure.

so i will take pictures of him everywhere except for work. all his adventures can be seen here. i am contemplating naming him something other than ollie, but it says that on the box he came in, so i might be stuck with it.

if you have a request for a specific stupid-plastic-bird adventure, tell me! this is assuming it does not involve boobs. or nudity of any kind.

this weekend was move-in weekend.

after months of anticipation, brett is finally with me in charleston. brett, his mountains of clothes, his couch, his TV, and his entertainment center, are all finally in my apartment. let’s just say, if and when we have guests over, they will have 13 different seating options and will be able to watch ESPN HD and play xbox at the same time.

he starts working in 2 weeks, and we’ll be in vegas the rest of this week, so this past weekend was really the only option we had to move his things down without being too rushed.

we drove to boone friday afternoon to get the rest of his belongings. actually, he drove to boone friday morning. i drove to boone friday afternoon, and would have arrived sooner had i not gotten stuck in the ice. quick side story:

if you’ve ever driven up 421 north after a snowstorm, you know how gorgeous the mountains look. i wanted had to take a picture. i am mildly obsessed with the mountains and get goosebumps when i see them on the drive back to boone, and i couldn’t resist pulling off onto the parkway to snap a photo.

unfortunately, they did not have any signs or warnings surrounding the entrance to the blue ridge parkway. my saturn is not the best off-road vehicle, but i was not aware i would be driving through a foot of snow and ice and fallen down trees. i got up to the parkway and got stuck. my car was facing uphill, and i couldn’t even go in reverse.

i panicked for a minute. i looked around to make sure no one was watching. i got out of the car and kicked some snow from around my tires and tried gunning it again–no dice. i sat there for about 10 seconds when a jeep pulled up. somehow, by the grace of god, i knew the person behind the wheel. my friend stephen, fellow AppState alumni, and his girlfriend were trying to take the scenic route, also. they, too, realized how impossible it would be.

they had a jeep, so they had no problems turning around. my little saturn, however, took some pushing and shoving and rocking and finally we got my car rolling, and i made it back down to 421. after all that, i still didn’t get my picture.

ANYWAY, that sucked. i got to boone safe and sound. i helped brett and his parents clean up his apartment and pack up the rest of his things, we ate dinner at macado’s, made a quick trip to ink link to buy a new eyebrow ring (my bathroom sink keeps swallowing mine), and drove down to mooresville to spend the night.

the next morning, we loaded up the trailer and headed to charleston. i packed up my christmas tree (so sad, i did not want to take it down yet) and did some SERIOUS cleaning and rearranging. mostly in my closet. i gave a trash bag overflowing with clothes to goodwill and an entire box full. my closet is still at full capacity. i don’t know how we fit all his things in there. he has more clothes than i’ve ever seen in my life.

there is now a very real fear that one day i will come home and my closet shelves and clothes racks will have collapsed into a giant, mangled mess on my floor. we are nearing that point with the shelves in the laundry room, as well. needless to say, we need to move into a 2 bedroom when my lease is up. we’ve realized how insane it would be to even make an attempt at house-buying after only 5 months.

we got everything unpacked yesterday by 5, and were done setting it all up by 7:30. his surround sound system pretty much owned us, but we finally got it figured out. about an hour of that was spent just trying to fix the giant cable management FAIL behind my entertainment center. once i got that worked out, we spent an hour getting the surround sound hooked up.

little did we know, the manual was packed in one of the boxes. prior to finding the manual, we finally looked up the manual online. prior to looking the manual up online, i got shocked half a dozen times scooting around on carpet plugging things in and yanking cables out. my left arm was tingling for 20 minutes–seriously.

after all that was said and done, i reheated leftovers and we watched surviving the game. ice T is such a badass.

in addition to yesterday’s events, i also made my first attempt at making coffee. evidently, i made it extra strong. because of this, i was wired all night. so we also watched revolutionary road and fracture until 3 in the morning. i finally passed out, but only after stuffing my face full of pizza rolls and spilling the remaining coffee all over my kitchen floor, and, of course, myself.

yesterday was full of FAIL, but it was also so very full of WIN! because now we are all settled in. and las vegas is tomorrow. and when we come home on saturday, i’m almost certain the entire contents of my closet will be in a mangled mess on the floor, but at least it will be our mess. awww.

i woke up this morning and actually forgot it was new years eve. almost no one is at work. i can’t believe i’m even at work on new years eve.

i have no idea where this year went. it flew by in the blink of an eye, and so many big things happened, and i just don’t know where it went.

in 2009 i…

• went to las vegas. twice. first CES, first defcon.
• did it big for spring break in panama city.
• went to oklahoma city and presented my research.
• ended a 3 and a half year relationship.
• graduated from appalachian state.
• moved to south carolina.
• purchased my first washer, dryer, TV, and bedroom set.
• learned how to pay bills. all of them. they suck.
• fell in love with my best friend.
• started my career.

and i think the most beneficial thing to come from it all was that i found myself. i realized what i can do being on my own. i learned more in the past year than in any other year of my life. bottom line, i am happy.

2010 will be even better, and i’m starting it off the right way with my first trip of the year next week… to las vegas.

if you’ve never heard of them, athenaeum is a 90s alternative rock band from greensboro. their songs have been on the radio since i was old enough to care about it. i never really fiddled with the radio until i was like 11. but they’ve been one of my favorite bands ever since then. i think it’s partly because their music reminds me of the 90s and being little, hanging out with my best friends all day every day without a care in the world. i put them in the same category as matchbox 20, wallflowers, semisonic, third eye blind, etc. you get the idea.

this was my 6th (i think?) time seeing them. it was the first time, however, i’ve been able to see them since being of a legal drinking age. beer makes concerts so much more fun.

i also love them because their music is flipping awesome and it just makes you feel good. i usually can’t listen to certain music when i’m in a certain mood. like sometimes i can only stand to listen to metal (rob zombie and i are close friends), or sometimes i only want to listen to country, and other times when i’m feeling gangster, i put “baby by me” on repeat. like i did yesterday for nearly half the drive to charlotte.

but athenaeum is that band that you can just pop in the CD player/iWhatever anytime and it won’t matter if you’re angry, sad, depressed, or ready to go clubbing. because after that you’ll just want to start singing. it’s like a curse. i tried so hard last night to just listen for once… and not chime in. i’m sure mark kano does not need me screaming the lyrics back in his face (i was right smack in front, like a foot from him, i know he heard me), but no such luck. the words just have to come out.

i took a few pictures with my phone. they look like crap, but, it is, after all, still a phone.

my buddy richard met me at amos’ southend where they played. i wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to make it or not and was pretty sure i was going to the show by myself last night, but he came through! and it was a lot of fun. concerts are way more fun with other people, although by the end of the night, i was in my own little world, anyway.

i also ran into rachel, a looong time friend of mine. she and i went to middle school and high school together, and girl scouts, and have been avid athenaeum fans together. i had a feeling she might be there last night, and i was right. i looked in front of me and there she was with her boyfriend, so, awesome surprise! the four of us had fun. until she got hot and nauseous and had to go sit elsewhere. that was not so fun.

and for my retard moment of the night–the girls at the tanning bed i go to make jewelry and sell it at the counter. i think they’re in high school but they raise it for some soccer thing and i was like, hmm, it’s really pretty, i will buy something. so last week i bought a reeeally cute black necklace for $8. i love it. seriously. it matches these earrings i have perfectly.

anyway, i was standing there last night, watching, listening to mark kano and mike garrigan serenade me, when i felt what seemed to be 3583297 bugs crawling down my shirt. it was not bugs–it was beads. the necklace randomly just broke. and started falling everywhere. little tiny beads were falling down my shirt, my bra, my jacket, and almost my pants. thank god the music was loud or it would’ve been an obnoxious 20 seconds listening to 52980532 beads rolling all over a cement floor.

so, goodbye, cute necklace. i only got to wear you twice. well, one and a half times. didn’t quite make it through last night. maybe i can convince the girls at the tanning bed to make me another one.

it feels really weird not having a 3-week vacation for christmas. i was writing my dates on the calendar yesterday for when i was going to be taking off work and it was mildly depressing that i am only going to have 6 days of free time… instead of… 24? yuck.

i’m trying to get as much crap done this week as possible. my dentist visits are done this week (HOORAY for no more cavities!). i sent out all my christmas cards this morning. i wrapped everyone’s presents (except for a couple stragglers in the mail, damn shipping). i bought a tanning package yesterday so i’m going every day this week. yes, mom, i have lotion. i’m mainly going because a) it makes my face clear up, b) it is very relaxing, and c) i feel better when i have a “glow” and am not translucent. i also do not want to look like a ghost when brett gets home from the bahamas this weekend. AND… drumroll… i’ve been running at the gym every day. i have lost the thanksgiving pounds and then some. i am on the ball.

my christmas vacation officially starts when i leave work on monday afternoon, but i told elizabeth i’d give her a ride to the airport really early tuesday morning so i won’t be leaving until then. i made a “girl” doctor’s appointment in winston for 10:45 that morning, which sucks, but it’s the only time i could get in. so i will be leaving my apartment at 0 dark 30, driving to the airport, and then driving home to NC just in time for my appointment. let me tell you how excited i am about that.

HERE IS WHY I AM NERVOUS…

i don’t know any female who likes going to the OB/GYN. any female who enjoys having someone stare at their innards through that must be out of their mind. either way, it has to happen sometime or another. it’s really not that bad if you have a good doctor. it is bad, however, when they bring along their interns. yes, internS.

i can’t remember if i wrote about what happened on here or not, but allow me to reiterate.

i went to the OB/GYN for a normal visit. i walked in, talked with the nurse for a few minutes, put the little gown on, and waited on the table. my doctor walked in and we talked for a minute (i hate that little chit chat before they actually do anything. just get it over with, please!). i put my feet in the stirrups and tried to get comfortable. then another woman walked in.

who is this person? and why are they in here… also staring at my innards? the nurse asked me if it was okay (AFTER the woman was already clearly within viewing range of my lady parts) if her intern sat in on the visit. the worst was over, i thought, so why not?

then another woman walked in. it was another intern. i do not know why my doctor didn’t think to ask me beforehand. i just know that i was completely mortified of the entire experience and wanted to curl up in the fetal (why does wordpress not recognize the word fetal?) position and cry uncontrollably.

my doctor asked if it was okay for both interns to sit in on the visit. the worst was over, i thought, so LET’S MAKE IT AN EVENT! someone go get popcorn.

the worst was not over. the worst part was when they all put on headlamps, my doctor holding that dreaded “tool” in hand. i seriously thought they were about to go spelunking. like it was the magic school bus or something and they were about to shrink to 1/1000000th of their normal size, and walk right in.

so on top of the normal jitters surrounding a regular OB/GYN visit, there’s always that!

i got back from baltimore late last night. this week flew by quicker than i ever thought it would. i had heard from a handful of people how bad it was going to be (the training i attended) and to my surprise, they were SO WRONG!

i don’t know if i’m just a dork or if it had something to do with the coffee (i will get to that bit momentarily) or if it was really as fun as i thought it was… but i had SO MUCH FUN during training. it certainly had the potential to quickly turn into death by powerpoint. and it didn’t. it really didn’t. i mean, we were in training from 8:30-3ish every day. the room was set up in a horseshoe, projector in the center. 4-6ish people were conducting the training, and they all had a sense of humor and understood the vitality of bathroom breaks during sessions like this. we had 10-15 minute breaks every hour. spectacular.

i can’t tell the internets what the training was for, but i can say that i think a lot of people were bored out of their minds. i am basing this decision on the fact that there were a few people with their heads propped up against the walls, mouths open, eyes closed, out cold.

i love talking about technology and security and absorbing every bit of it that i can. and the fact that my job combines that with the military absolutely fascinates me. it’s always something new and exciting. and the last 3 days were nothing but that. sure, there was some dry material in there at times, but that’s to be expected. they also threw in a lot of xkcd and lolcats in the powerpoints, and they were all relevant, so kudos to the geeks who put that together. i love you.

i am certain this field is where i belong. it just fits. i learned a lot. i also learned about coffee.

until tuesday morning, these lips had never touched coffee. i had a mocha, once. it was about 1/2 whipped cream (i don’t like whipped cream. i know. i’m weird.) and it was not that good and it made my stomach hurt. i got lost on the way to the training tuesday morning so my original plan to stop at a gas station and buy bookoos of 5-hour energy failed miserably, leaving me with no other choice. i had to drink coffee.

after the first hour of training, i looked at elizabeth and told her i needed help making coffee. you don’t know how to make coffee? no, crazy woman! i have never had it. please assist me in my caffeinated adventure. she informed me that you’re supposed to put creamer and sugar in it. i did that. i put like a half a cup of sugar in my coffee. i also put a boatload of creamer in it. and then i found the hot chocolate powder mix and it was over after that. i dumped half the bag into my cup.

my coffee looked like chocolate milk. and it tasted pretty close (minus the scalding hot part) except i am convinced that you can never fully get rid of the coffee flavor. i suppose i will have to get used to this. on day 1, i had 2 cups and i couldn’t force my face OUT of a smile for the remainder of training. everything was amusing. i kept giggling. i think the most amusing part was the frequent heart flutters and the fact that after the first cup and a half, my hands wouldn’t hold still enough to actually bring the cup to my lips. i also had to go to the little girls’ room about 7 times that day.

on day 2, i upgraded myself to 3 cups. and also on day 3. i have decided i will no longer live without coffee in my life and i will finally use the coffee maker in my kitchen cabinet. i’m not entirely sure why i have one, but somehow i acquired it during college and it stuck with me during the move.

IF YOU BUILD IT, HE [coffee] WILL COME.

if you are reading this post with the hopes of reading about a light up bra or vibrating panties or a scantily clad robot, you are about to be let down, i assure you. the only reason those two stores coexist in the title is because Store A (i needed to buy LEDs) led me to Store B. this is a result of the man on the phone at radio shack giving me horrible directions that got me lost in the citadel mall. so i had a small detour to the store that scarred me for life, which is why today was only my 5th adventure beyond its doors. i ran out of my favorite lotion.

yes, it’s true. Victoria’s Secret scarred me for life. i know my parents will read this so… close your eyes, dad. mom, you’ve probably heard worse from my mouth. everyone else, i know you’ve heard worse from my mouth. i will not say how long ago this was (for my parents’ sake, i will at least say i had already been in college for a good while) because i feel like that is too much personal information for the internet to know.

i want to try to put this delicately but i don’t think it can be done. i wanted to buy an “outfit”. the outfit was for a certain occasion, after which my innocence would no longer be in tact. if you haven’t caught on, let me distract you elsewhere. even then, just walking by Victoria’s Secret freaked me out. i needed help. so i asked my very close friend (and ex-boyfriend), Collin, to join me on my adventure. he couldn’t turn down the chance to see me humiliate myself in public. so we went.

there we were in Victoria’s Secret. i was terrified, and Collin was, well, collin was probably in heaven. i immediately went to the clearance section (can’t really afford much in this store on a college budget) and found this cute, black corset. i wanted to get out of there, so the first thing i found, i tried on.

i went in the dressing room. i made sure Collin was sitting outside in case i started screaming (or crying). thank god for that, too, because within 30 seconds, i was stuck. there were straps everywhere. i had no idea what i was doing. i panicked. collin came in and he couldn’t help me. he found the “help” button on the wall inside the dressing room, pushed it for me, and walked back out. i waited.

by the time anyone came to my rescue, i had kind of figured out like 4 straps. i had 2 remaining. a woman knocked on my door and i let her in. she and i stood there and stared at my mangled mess, my face looking a little more horrified than hers. she pushed the button to call another woman in.

second woman came in. the result? the same clueless expression. meanwhile, i stood there half clothed, petrified, and hugely embarrassed that i even thought i could come out of this store without something like this happening. good god almighty, was i wrong.

they pushed the button. a third opinion (and a 4th set of hands) was necessary, if not to figure out what the straps were for, then to get me out of the damn thing.

enter: black female. disclaimer: i am not racist. i think that black women have the ability to take any situation and make it hilarious. she was absolutely what i needed to lift my spirits. and also to scar me for life. it did both very well.

she took one look at me from the front and one look at me from the back. you could see the gears turning in her mind. she had me figured out in less than 10 seconds. the next sentence was more than what i was prepared for.

“oh, honey! i know what them straps are. those are REINS!”

i didn’t know whether to cry, laugh, or run away. so i did all 3 at the same time. but not without taking my knife out, cutting off the “reins”, and buying the corset.

the point: Victoria’s Secret freaks me the hell out and since the incident, i keep my time spent in there to a minimum. mostly, i just avoid it at all costs. except when i run out of my favorite lotion.

a lot of the girls at work have been taking an aerobic pole dancing class. supposedly, it’s a hell of a workout and it’s a lot of fun. i’m pretty reserved when it comes to these kind of activities (meaning working out) so doing something like this is about <-------------------------------------------------> far out of my comfort zone. that’s really far, by the way. keep in mind, when i work out, it’s either when the gym is completely empty (1 or 2 people is okay depending on what mood i’m in) or it’s in my living room.

needless to say, working out with a pole around a group of women (most of whom i don’t know) scares the bejesus out of me. however, i’m sucking it up and doing it because it could be fun. and it gave me a reason to buy these sweet babies.

classes start on tuesday. it’s $185 for 8 weeks and you take a second “practice” class once a week in addition to tuesday nights. i’ll let you know how it goes.