Attack Refrigerators and Balls

i made cake balls last night. cake balls that turned into more of… cake lumps. brett and i went the lazy route for dinner and made a freschetta pizza, and in doing so, i decided to direct all my extra energy into creating these… things. these lumps of gooey, unhealthy, awesomeness.

mine look nothing like the ones over at bakerella, and mine appear to be… bleeding, but they still taste good, according to coworkers.

ingredients:

this was like… the easiest baking experience of my life.

  1. beat eggs, vegetable oil, water, and cake mix in bowl
  2. pour mixture into pan
  3. cook at 350 degrees for 35 minutes
  4. transfer cake to bowl and mash cake into tiny bits (this was especially fun, and i mashed the cake while we watched awakenings, awesome!!!)
  5. mix with 16oz of cream cheese (if you want a ridiculous arm workout, try doing this while cream cheese is still cold)
  6. roll into tiny balls (i happened to get 63 out of 1 box of cake mix)
  7. place balls on baking sheet and freeze for 30 minutes
  8. melt chocolate bark in microwave for 2 minutes, stir, melt again if necessary (do not use ziploc/glad plastic tupperware containers, they burn/melt/smoke, TRUST ME)
  9. dunk frozen balls in chocolate and place on sheet to harden

seriously. i didn’t even break anything until this morning (don’t keep glass casserole dishes on top of refrigerators! refrigerators will throw them at you and they will shatter into millions of tiny bits!)!

also, i didn’t realize that if you do decide to use red velvet cake (i just thought it looked prettier), you will end up with red dye… everywhere. especially when you roll the cake mix into balls. my hands, and subsequently my arms and mouth, looked like i had just finished slaughtering a pig. and your cake balls will… bleed. there was a little bit last night after i let them harden in the pan, but when i woke up this morning there was even MORE red dye. but, that might just be my sloppy technique–yours might not even look like lumps, either.

balls

in the end, they were a win in the office, AND a win at home when i realized i had just enough chocolate left to smother the fresh strawberries i bought yesterday. i don’t know how i went almost 24 years without ever trying chocolate covered strawberries, but… they are about to become a new staple in my “diet”. that consists of freschetta pizza and cake balls. strawberries are fruit, so it’s cool.

2 Comments

  • Gene says:

    Holy Crap! I'm going to have to make these… Thanks for the run-down.

  • ab_as_kl says:

    Will these cake balls count as the “balls” you spoke of so that we can see the pictures of you in your youth?
    I quote from you previous comment : “…
    ridiculously detailed matching outfits (i will show pictures when i get the balls to do so)”

    Thanks!

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